Simple Complications

So pirates of the caribbean 2 wasn't as good as i thought it'd be.I mean that there were some plot blanks and some of the characters weren't explored as much as they should've. Don't get me wrong its still good but i expected more. Sparrow is still funny as hell..that goofy bastard. Oh and the sharkman is badass. All in all i say watch it but don't expect it to rock your socks off. It's more of a tingle. Like a fart. But not so smelly. LOL.

...and i have officially run out of blog fodder.

Um. Ok! Highlight of my day! Discovering that the regulars brought durian back to camp and eating it in the corridors and not sharing with the multitudes of officers and sergeants who were drooling as they walked by. In case you're wondering which i enjoyed more, eating durian or not sharing with %$^@#$ officers. It was close but eating durian is definitely my highlight of the day.

Blah. Thats it. Just Blah.

I think its just that kind of night

I've just had a long talk with my mom about money and life in general. Pretty much about how its quite fucked. There isn't enough money to be able to survive on without heavily relying on my mom's boyfriend and even that is limited because he isn't a bank unto himself. This means that somewhere, somehow my father has to cough up the money he owes my mom each month for maintenance. That money is, in turn, used to pay the bills for food, education and other crap my sisters and I incur. The trouble is my dad has, I think, chosen instead to pay for his plasma tv, new furniture, renovation of his house, his merc SL500, his food and his nights out boozing. Which means that my mom, and down the line, my sisters and I are face-deep in a financial shit-pot of epic proportions. In other news, my sisters are completely fucking up their education which leads me to believe that the only work that they will do falls under the category of tai-tai. Yay, yet again, for laziness. It's gotten to the point where my mom is out of ideas and out of energy to think of new ones. Which leaves it to me. The big brother. Yes yes that is me.
There comes a time where one realizes with a possible sense of shock that one is a adult and as such is expected to shoulder responsibility. You know that feeling?

That feeling just fucking kicked me in the nuts, slapped me upside my head and pulled my boxers over my eyes before rolling over me in a 5 tonner.

Ok so i'm back and i'm reviving this thang. Been a rather hectic 7(!!!!!!!!!) months since i had a proper entry. By proper i mean with actual words. In this time i have--> passed out from BMT, passed out from Supply Supervisor training course and have since rooted my ass into a desk job in a secret unit in a very not-secret camp. Life has been pretty good on the most part. Finally an adult. As far as that goes that is. It's been 3 years since i turned 18 and shit still feels the same. I'm still doing fuck-all with my life which sucks but it just feels the same. I don't know, maybe i somehow thought that at this point in my life i'd be different. Maybe reality is that everything just stays the same.
But enough of this sombre crap, on a brighter note, i was ordered to come up with some safety slogans for a contest for this seasons new army safety posters. Here are some examples.
Better Safe than Sorry.
Better Safe than in a Hospital Bed Dying.
Better Safe than Dead.
Death is Bad.
Death Affects Your Productivity.
If It Looks Unsafe, it IS.
Guns Don't Kill People, Being Unsafe Does.
Guns Don't Kill People, APES with Guns Kill People. Keep Your Rifle Safe.

HAHAHAHAHA i think i'm gonna get shafted for this tmr but it's worth it. I think. Hope.

Um.
Laters

Krunkmunky, Emperor of the World is a Collosal Ape that Stomps Around a Lot, came from Another Planet, and CANNOT BE STOPPED. Strength: 14 Agility: 5 Intelligence: 9 To see if your Giant Battle Monster can defeat Krunkmunky, Emperor of the World, enter your name and choose an attack: fights Krunkmunky, Emperor of the World using Strength Agility Intelligence

I'm out of Tekong for a nut-busting 6 days! YESSSSS. All you all who wanna go out to do stuff let me know because I'm up for anything. Believe me. Gym, swim, tennis, beer, bowling, beer, movies, beer, DOOM, beer. You get the idea. If you;ve been wondering what I've been up to for such a long time ask me. The stories are too long. The short version? Army.

Ta

Today was bookout day and it was good. I had sushi for lunch and it was good. The night however was something else. And that is where I find myself now. Quite out of sorts. A cross between lonely, sad, confused, frustrated and reflective. Quite a mad mix of emotion and feeling right there. Maybe 'cause it's been a pretty up-and-down week.
Finally tracked down the lady that brought me up in Guangzhou, China. This being the lady that was my mom's nanny that became my nanny. Who fed me, taught me cantonese and took care of me like her own. That's the good part. The bad part being that she just broke her leg. Due to her extremely advanced age she will probably not last 6 months. I need to see her, at the same I am stuck in BMTC School 1 Eagle Coy.
Parents quarrelled, again. But for fear of sounding like a whiny little post-divorce bitch child, I will not disclose the exact details here. Try asking in person or something.
Looking around, a lot of people are feeling messed up, or cheated emotionally. I guess this is made easier by the fact that when people feel a connection they tend to make themselves more vulnerable to each other. That being said, it doesn't make anyone feel any better.
A possible solution to that could be to raise yourself above the bullshit. To fuck-it-all. Basically desensitizing yourself. Emotional kevlar of sorts. It's like broken hearted people acting tough to protect themselves from other broken hearted people acting tough. But how would that be beneficial? How would you be able to tell when the right girl comes along? How does that differ from the bullshit of now? Sacrificing future happiness for some peace of mind now. Sounds like a raw deal to me. Isn't emotional hardening of heart is a quick fix that ultimately solves nothing?
Maybe guys should be more direct to girls and vice versa. But then everybody is so scared of getting hurt that continual testing of the water is needed before any semblance of affirmative action is taken.
A girl has the largest potential to completely fuck a guy over. True but I prefer to believe that a girl has the largest potential to bring out the best in a guy. For the guy to want to provide and protect. Physically, financially but most importantly emotionally to the best of his ability and beyond. The ultimate union between two individuals to become one in the state that Our Father had intended.
But a guy's feelings towards a girl isn't always returned. Which sucks. Why is it that girls always like assholes? And why is when they realize that what they really need is a nice guy; that it's always some other nice guy? Nice guys finish last. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? How come I always learn about relationships and the like through the experiences of others? Even when I find someone that I want to protect, provide and care for. They slip through my fingers. Maybe it was my own fault. Maybe not. Maybe that's why I'm feeling emotionally messed up. Maybe all I need is a kiss, a cuddle and someone telling me it's gonna be ok. I know it definitely has to be from the right person. But that future with that someone has probably all but disappeared.
Economically speaking a double coincidence of needs and wants in a given situation. That is what determines attraction and emotion? A chemical reaction the brain? A stirring in the soul? A loud booming divine voice in the back of your head screaming, "THAT'S THE ONE! DON'T FUCK THIS UP!"
Logos. Otherwise known as Logic. That is what the bible states the universe is based upon. I personally don't see that logic most of the time. But that is where I have faith that God knows what he is doing.
That is where I need to have faith that God knows what he is doing.

Got back home at abt 1130hrs. Scrounged around the kitchen and came up with my breaksfast of champions. Trix and Tiger beer. Mmmm good. The beer I mean. After more than a week in camp nothing tastes better. 'Cept maybe the sushi I'm gonna have later. Or the dinner at my dad's. Or..wait never mind. Beer is good and I like good.

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

(La-la-la-la, La-la-la-la, La-la-la-la, Laaah)


You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

James Blunt - You're Beautiful